Honkies
Confused? You wouldn't be if you had to ride around the parts I frequent. It's would be a toss up on what I'd rather do; go to a monster truck jam waving a black panthers flag, or ride some of the roads around honky tonk Sedalia. Well it may not be that bad, but today was quite interesting.
I'll skip the details of the ride but here are the highlights...
Great weather is awesome, but the bugs it brings out isn't. Cotton mouth and bugs don't mix, I got my fair share of protein from the little buggers tonight.
Little towns rarely have convience stores. How convienent. About a hour and 15 into the ride I hit a little town called Houstonia, and I had the munchies like a motha. It was a sign of god when I rode up to the school to find they had a little girls softball game... Which means consession stand! A hot dog, some twizzlers, and a snickers later and I was good to go.
And last but not least, hicks don't like bikers. Tonight was classic. I had a dude in a big Ford F350 pull up next to me on a country road and look at me like I had just called his mother every bad name in the book. He slowly pulled away so I didn't think much about it. Well he was about 300 yards down the road when I saw him slow down again. Great, this Hick is going to try to test me, and I'm probably gonna lose. So I get about 20 yards away and I notice he's stopped in the middle of a overflowing creek crossing. I rolled up and pulled a trackstand as he proceeded to peel out and try to soak me. He gave her hell, that was for sure. He set and spun them tires for a couple of minutes, but my trackstand skillz are pro and I was able to stand just feet away from the stream of water. He gave up, and drove off.
What a douche, but I guess not everyone can be biker friendly. I grew up in a single wide trailer out in the middle of the boonies. I was a hick myself, pure country boy to the bone. My pets were geese. Still got plenty of country in me... He would have never guessed. I also bet that when he was a little boy that he used to ride the hell out of a bike. Somewhere along the line I progressed as a human being and he didn't. I don't mind country folk, but this guy was the exact definition of a hoosier. Way to go buddy...
So I leave you with a music video. Kinda sucks, they wouldn't let me post the original video that the band made. So this one will have to do. It's my new theme song... It has alot more to do than just bikes, the message is one of the best I've heard of in a song of late. I rode my bike without handlebars alot tonight. I find it gives me time to stretch and fully appreciate the scenery. I ride my bike without handlebars like a pro too... Now if I could only ride my bike like a pro.
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Yeah, rednecks.
I dunno. I hate when jackasses do mean stuff to strangers like your story, but you gotta sit back on this one and laugh.
I mean really. You should have put your feet down and ended the track stand and saluted the guy. Cheer like a beer stained yokel at a truck rally and encourage him to do the burn out of all burnouts. Encourage him to lite-em-up so bright the whole stream bed goes dry, then re-pave the road in rubber! Then roll up and tell him how cool it was (in the most serious tone you can)....perhaps even offer a story of your own burnout brilliance.
Later you can ride home and rest comfortably knowing that we live in America where people are free to do what they want...including whine about gas/diesel prices while they do burnouts. As long as they are not flinging bottles at my head (or anything else that actually can harm me) I think it is funny.
Idiots
I have to say it.
Idiot drivers intentionally harassing cyclists is a curse that exists pretty much only in the USA (and a little in the UK).
Crazy French drivers are super polite to cyclists ... pretty much always.
A women from Maryland that is coming on my summer alps tour was intentionally hit head on from a guy during a group ride recently.
Hit & run, she was hopitalized and facing surgery.
Thats Horrible
I'm really sorry to hear that... I don't know why Americans are such jackasses but alot of them are. Don't get me wrong, they're not all that way. Most will gladly wave and give you plenty of room. But there isn't a road ride I do that I don't at least get harrassed once by some d-bag.
I can't wait until America starts to adopt some of the perspectives of other countries when it comes to cycling. As for now, we'll remain the hillbilly dicks who think our ego is sooo big that we have to give cyclist shit. I need to move... Got an open room?
Yes, that is how I remember Missoura
Houstonia??? Man you are in the sticks. I rode in the more "civilized" part of the state near Columbia and it was hard there but man I can't believe it is humanly possible to ride where you are... you got balls...
It's been 12 years since I moved out of my home state and have been living in Boulder Colorado ever since and because of experiences like yours I will never return to Missoura.
There's assholes everywhere but here I get honked at about 1 a season and yelled at about 1 a year. That is a big difference from when I was an intern in St. Louis and living in Valley Park, from there on my rides if I did NOT get yelled or honked at on a ride then that ride was probably too short.
Switch Ya
Any day, your more than welcome to come take over my live in Missery and I'll proudly take over yours in Boulder. I've got a one year plan in the works now that will hopefully end in me moving to Colorado. I love that state. Actually anywhere would be better than here, well at least anywhere other than Kansas.
I've heard the riding in Colorado is a bit more friendly. Last time we where out in Colorado we saw cyclists everywhere, and in huge groups too. I'm more of a trail man myself, and there are very few places that are as awesome to ride than up in the mountains of Colorado. I've got plans to visit Moab this year, have you ever been?
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